A letter to my baby for his 1st birthday

Dear Sawyer

(It feels funny to call you that.  Since you were born, you were my little Soybean.  And then that became a mouthful, so  you’ve been Bean.  Or beanie weenie woo.  I fear you may go to kindergarten believing your name is Bean.)

I can barely comprehend that it’s almost been a year since you came into our lives.  At this time, last December, I was just so ready to meet you.  And now, I can’t imagine my life without you.  My heart aches when I am away and immediately fills when I know you are near.

The joy you bring me is beyond words.  I’m so blessed to experience the love I have for you.   And it’s all the little moments that have made their mark on me and hold so dear.

These are my heaven:

• Snuggling you  my arms in bed when you were just weeks old
• Feeling your breath on my cheek
• Feeling the weight of your tiny body falling asleep on me after nursing
• Hearing your giggles
• Witnessing your pride at learning to do something new (like kick a soccer ball)
• Having your legs wrap around me when I hold you on my hip
• Feeling your touch on my face (well tug/pull/yank is more like it)
• Listening to your sighs as you yawn
• Holding you close just before I put you in your bath
• Receiving precious little baby hugs
•  Feeling your little hands reach for mine as you try to walk

…and those are just a few.

You’re such a smiley little guy and so open to everyone.  And just when I thought there was nothing better than a gummy smile, you started sprouting teeth at 10 months, and your grin has gotten even better.

Every day you surprise me.  Each day you allow me to see the good in the world.  The possibilities of happiness, innocence, and love.

You have made me a better person, Bean.  I am so lucky to be your mama.

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