Hey there,
How’s the last week been for you? You’ll be happy to know (or not care, either or) that I survived my first work trip sans baby. I missed him like crazy, but Facetime worked pretty well. He did try to look for me behind the iPad which was pretty darn cute. Regardless I was glad to be back with him Friday AM, giving him tons of kisses and hugs. I mean, really, look at this face:
And my back is feeling better! This makes me believe it is due to lifting Bean since it seemed to get better while on work travel. Maybe Tina’s Best Body Bootcamp will strengthen me up even more so this go ’round so I don’t strain myself again.
This weekend we tried to catch up on some family time, which really just meant running errands, ordering Thai food (pumpkin curry a la Shana Thai (that’s the name of the restaurant)), watching DVRed shows, drinking vino, cleaning, some pumpkin patch fun on Sunday,
and my first experience baking an acorn squash (complete with lentils and feta).
Finally getting to the post title, I read a magazine article last week while on travel (which magazine escapes me) and it mentioned that sharing your goals (aka spillin’ the beans) actually makes you less likely to achieve them. I don’t know about you, but I always thought sharing your goals made a person feel more committed to reaching them (if only to avoid public shortfall) and are held more accountable for their progress. But studies (since as early as the 1920′s) indicate the opposite. You can read more from a 2010 TED talk here. [Note, the magazine article was recent and once I unearth it again, I will share the source] The gist of the article was that studies show a sense of accomplishment is felt (feeling of success) by just announcing the goal rather than reaching it.
I got to thinking about what kind of person I am and realize I’m more of keep it to myself / share with only a select few. Perhaps it’s in part due to fearing public failure and / or it’s that I want to reserve the right to change my mind and my course. In the past, I was more open about sharing goals, mainly because I felt they were completely in my control (what school to go to, grad school, jobs, etc). But now I feel like my bigger life goals are family-related and are not as hard and fast as they once were. My bestie is probably just the opposite. When Boston was just a glimmer, the bestie announced to all that she was going to interview at a specific company, and then move to Boston. And whatdya know? She did! I swear, she could have a goal of making grass purple and it would happen 
So whatever your goals may be: tone up, get pregnant, buy a home, earn a promotion, etc — do you share or keep it to yourself? Or does it depend on what the goal is?
Hmm, what a thought-provoking topic, Shanna! I think I’m more of a keep-it-to-myself kind of person. Not just with goals, but with most things. I get emotional pretty easily so I tend to mull things over in my own mind before unleashing them on others. Also, it kind of freaks me out to share a personal goal with others because they’ll find out if you fail. And I change my mind too easily/often
Glad to see your work trip went well without Bean. That pumpkin looks huge next to him!!
Sounds like we’re on the same page Lauren
Awesome. As for me, depending on the goal I’ll keep it to myself or share. Sometimes I’m so afraid of failing that I don’t want others to see that…maybe it depends on how sure I am I’ll succeed. But then it’s not really a goal per say. I don’t know-you got me thinking a lot more then normal at 7 am!
Good point…if I *know* I can succeed, I’m more likely to share
Turn grass purple…. muahahaha… that would be awesome! I’m touched that you find me so capable of reaching goals I’ve set.
Mostly I’m an over-sharer in life as it is, so I tend to over share goals as well. I’m not good at keeping secrets, or really keeping anything to myself, so I’m not sure that I share my goals to make myself more effective so much as I blab because I’m a blabber. 
But your post did make me smile. The one thing that really helps achieve my goals? Having a fantabulous bestie like you that supports me in whatever crazy thing I try. You are the awesomest!! 
xoxo
Yep, pretty sure you could turn the grass purple if you set your mind to it. You are one dedicated woman/bestie/mama/wife
Awww… well you’re my role model for being so dedicated, so I blame you.
I’m not sure how I feel about that either. Just last night, I wrote out a goal I have for next year and then I started thinking about how I want to fulfill that now more than ever. I made it official by saying it out loud.
I think the article said something about saying it aloud was good, but sharing with people is what makes you less likely to achieve. Now I really need to find that silly article!
I always thought sharing would be more effective. Because it makes you commit more since you told everyone you were doing it… or at least that’s just me…
That;s interesting about the goals. I have never really thought that keeping them personal would help you out more. Huh. I know I personally do better sharing.
Awww, kiddos + pumpkins!!!
I guess it depends on my goal. Like, I’ll share a running goal but keep my weight loss/maintenance goals to myself. Or I’ll be vague, like that I want to have kids but not sharing when.
Yep, I do the vague thing as well.
I think I read that same article, and I honestly can’t remember where! I’ve always been of the belief that most people need to tell others about their goals to be successful – for accountability purposes. However, when it comes to my own personal goals, I like to keep them to myself…or write them down in my journal. Hypocrite much!?
That’s really interesting about revealing goals making you less likely to reach them. I definitely would think the opposite! I guess most big things (like going to law school or getting an certain externship) I tell people about. It’s more to discuss than simply tell, though. Smaller things, though, I generally keep to myself.
For me it totally depends on the goal. I have some that I will share with every single person that will let me, but there are some things that I keep to myself. I don’t know why there’s a difference, I just feel like the ones that are more personal to me don’t need to be shared until I’ve reached them.
Hmm, that’s really interesting. I’m definitely a person who shares all of my goals with a lot of people (my friends have deemed me an “over-communicator”, ha)…maybe I should think about keeping my cards a little closer to the chest!
super interesting. I am like you and keep it to myself most of the time. The only goals I’ve recently shared are my post-baby goals! Hmm maybe I should rethink that!