Hey there friends!
I wasn’t feeling a post yesterday because I was insanely uncomfortable on Monday which is when I normally would have written one up. I may have had an easy 38+ weeks pregnancy, but as of Saturday, things have gotten muy uncomfortable.
Don’t let my smile fool you, I’m miserable
My back aches. My pelvic area feels bruised. There is pressure on my bum. I feel super large and I’m not sleeping well. Oh and just an fyi, don’t wear a thong into your 39th week of pregnancy while doing vigorous cardio like I did Monday morning. It’s not good. Not good at all. We’ll leave it at that.
My next doctor’s appt isn’t until the 28th – 2 days after my due date. Oye. So I don’t have any real stats to give you, just a check in.
Since maternity leave boredom has officially set in, I’ve been baking and eating a bit more. And by a bit, I mean a lot. My sweet tooth wins every battle and I’m going to town on a lot of treats. Luckily I got to indulge in this guy Monday:
And if you’re wondering, yes I did eat the whole thing. I impressed myself. And I wasn’t even remotely hungry for another 8 hours. We’ll pretend it was loaded with protein.
So besides being generally antsy, I’m getting concerned that Sawyer won’t arrive anytime soon at all and my Mom will miss all of her quality grandson time 
She arrives tonight (yippeee!) and leaves on the 3rd. If I have to wait until the 31st for an induction that could be as little as 3 days. Sigh. I know they come on their own time, but really, this is just tough!
Each night I go to bed thinking this could be the night my water breaks and then I wake up every morning to nothing having changed. It’s like Groundhog’s Day. Though yesterday I think I felt some regular contractions, meaning like 4 an hour. But who the heck knows.
The other thing I wanted to touch on is pregnancy comparisons.
I’ve received a few comments over the course of my Baby O posts about my weight, what I choose to wear, etc. And while none of it is in malice, I did want to address it.
The day I found out I was pregnant, I started googling everything – the most immediate being expected weight gain. And when I was at 14 weeks or 17 weeks or 25 weeks, I’d google “pregnancy photos XX weeks” just to see if my belly looked like other women. Why did I do this? I think to ensure I was on track – not too big and not too small. Admittedly I hoped to be on the small side.
And then I’d read blogs or forums about pregnancy experiences. How could someone still do intense cardio every day of the week and get up at 5am? Or how the heck does a woman run a marathon while 9 months pregnant when I gave up my piddly little jogs at 14 weeks. Or how come some husbands were goo-goo-eyed over their baby-to-be when it still hadn’t hit home for my hubby?
While I’ve had a really wonderful pregnancy there are some things that have been less than perfect. And just to show you that we all experience a range of good and bad, mine are listed below:
Positive:
- I got pregnant without much effort (about 6 months off birth control with no additional effort / changes)
- No morning sickness
- Ability to stay active / exercise
- No food aversions
- Primarily weight gain in the belly
- Decent energy throughout
- Ability to sleep through the night
- Healthy progressing baby boy
- Desire to continue to dress fashionably
- Friends / family that traveled for baby shower
- No missed work days
- No stretch marks (fyi, the only thing I ever used was cheap-o Suave cocoa butter lotion in the AM)
- Minimal swelling until the end of pregnancy
- A job and state (Cali) that pays maternity leave
Not so great:
- Acne. Every day something new sprouted.
- Frequent spotting in the first trimester, which had me scared beyond belief
- Severe mood swings / depression
- A few extremely low times that were difficult to get out of and move past
- A husband who had unbelievably long work hours
- Lack of ‘sickness’ meant not getting any additional help / sympathy
- No family nearby at all
- No hand me downs to capitalize on (from friends / family) which led to a lot of out of pocket expenses
- A good deal of lower leg swelling starting at 36 weeks
- Increased anxiety
- Superhero syndrome and the need to do everything and do it right now
- Acid reflux after 36 weeks
I’m sure I’m missing some items on both lists, but the point is that we each will experience our own blessings along with misfortunes. In the end we will have a beautiful baby to love and adore and that trumps both lists.
Each of us has to choose how we want to live this journey and there is no right or wrong. So I implore you to not compare, but learn and appreciate the many different paths that we can take to arrive at such a miracle 
How do you avoid comparisons?
I too tend to try to compare where I’m at with others, but it never leaves me feeling better, so I’m not sure why I do it. Even last night at our holiday party the CEO’s wife remarked that I had an “extremely large belly” for where I’m at in the pregnancy. I decided I could do one of two things with that comment: 1) have an internal pity party about how I’ll be doomed to squeeze out a giant baby (and subsequently look pregnant a year after giving birth) because I can’t rein in the sweet tooth, or 2) wear my belly proudly around the party with the knowledge that I was blessed with super inspector gadget-style expando-belly muscles. I went with 2. It made the party way better, and it made all the cupcakes I ate taste better. I totally believe every pregnancy is unique, and my body knows way more about what should be going on than anyone else, the experts on the interwebs, or even me.
Ahh bestie..
1st, miss wifey is a moron or has never been pregnant, because you never ever say that to anyone regardless. So that’s just lame. 2nd, I love love love your response! Wear that belly proud. You are right where you should be and are looking fabulous and were probably rocking heels to boot! Me suspects wifey was jealous of how great you looked
She had had 3 kids (all large babies), so it wasn’t lack of experience on her part, but yeah maybe a bit uncouth of her to say. I was, however, totally rocking the 4″ heels (my sparkly black sequins booties).
IDK, but after 3, one tends to forget the days when one’s body image was paramount; she may have been just a little too honest with her statement. Regardless, I love the “gadget expando muscles” idea, bravo!
Aww Shanna, you came off as 100% positive to me! I think you’re an inspirational mom to be and will be seeking your advice when the time comes for me. And yes, I randomly wondered yesterday if you had the baby and had to ask on Twitter.
Claire that is so sweet of you to say. I feel really really blessed and all the positives have outweighed the negatives but I did want people to know that my experience hasn’t been 100% idyllic. Some areas I had trouble with, others may have been wonderful for others. It all works out
Avoiding comparisons is hard. I think we all learn as children (maybe after a few too many oops moments) that it’s often easier (and less painful) to learn by observation than by experience. But sometimes, you’ve just gotta’ take it as it comes. I know I compare myself and my experiences to things that shouldn’t matter, so I can’t imagine how badly I’ll fall into the comparison trap with something that does matter, like being a preggo! yipes!
I agree Tiff…it can start pretty young. But with being preggers, the time is so unique..it really should be a time when we dont’ compare at all.
I actually started following your blog when I find out I was pregnant! I wanted someone to look at each week to see how big I was compared to that person…I don’t really know why I did /do this other than this is my 1st pregnancy and I’m trying to anticipate what to expect…who knows. And I also GOOGLE pregnant belly at xx weeks and weight gain (still)! Glad I’m not alone!
Thanks for sharing your pregnancy through your blog! Hope you’re little one arrives soon and all goes well! What a wonderful time of year for you!
Congrats on your pregnancy!
It’s good to know I”m not the only one that can get caught up with google and comparing. Hopefully we both are happy with where we’re at
Love love this post my friend, so beautiful, honest, and it really touched me…throughout your pregnancy journey you’ve been so inspiring to me and I’m so happy I’ll have you to come to for advice when it’s my turn
xoxo
I can totally relate to this post in regards to us trying to get pregnant and I (still!) have a hard time seeing other women who are much smaller than me and exercise quite intensely and still pregnant. I just have to come to terms with the fact that if I want my miracle to come true I have to listen to my body and stop comparing. Each of us our different, and like you said (which I absolutely love and am book-marking this post!), I have to learn and appreciate the different path I have to take in order to arrive at such miracle
P.S. Every part of me is crossed in the hopes of Baby Sawyer coming soon!! I can’t imagine how hard the waiting must be and I’m here for you if you need to vent
xoxo
Aww I’m glad it touched you Shay. I know your journey has been tough, but it will happen for you. And when the moment it comes it will be that much more joyous because of the effort and unique path you took to get there. And when it does happen, I’ll be happy to share whatever I can, including maternity clothes
You’re the absolute best lovely – thank you
xoxo
I typically fare pretty well with the whole comparison thing, but it is a super slippery slope. I always try and remember that nomatter how it looks on the outside, everyone has their own problems, and I probably would never want to deal with the things they deal with.
Totally true..everyone has their own good and bad!
I totally empathize — I was exactly the same way when I was pregnant with my first baby. You just have absolutely no idea what to expect, so it’s totally normal to compare! And I was even that way after I had my first baby — have I lost the weight fast enough, am I doing the right things with her, etc.? After the second, I can truthfully tell you that you will stop caring! To be a working mom you are juggling so many things at a time you ARE superwoman! So what if your belly jiggles a little bit more? Someone in the world thinks you are the best person EVER, and absolutely beautiful, and won’t care in the least if you’re one jeans’ size larger (or let’s be honest, two really
) — and it’s not your hubby, though he won’t care about your belly either 
One of the most beautiful things about having kids is that you have so many immediate worries to deal with — e.g., is she about to launch herself down the stairs? — that you don’t have time to have anxiety about what you look like or whether you are as hot as you used to be. And it’s so fun and freeing! (Which, in turn, actually makes you more awesome and hot!) So don’t worry, you’re gonna have an exhausting miraculous excellent good time 
Kristen, you’re totally right..I probably will look at the post baby stuff too! I hadn’t thought of that. But hopefully I can keep it in check and will be more focused on Sawyer and caring for him.
Love your attitude towards all of it!
Hugs hon! I have a husband who works very long hours and no family close by and it is SO hard! I hope Sawyer comes soon!
Thanks Jen — I know it works out in the end…you’ve proven it with adorable baby Wyatt!
Shanna I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I love how you keep it real! For someone who’s never been pregnant you allow me to see the other side of it besides the politically correct pregnancy updates of coworkers. The thong comment made me die laughing. But it’s something i’d never think of or even ask a pregnant woman. Love this post. I hope your baby comes soon! Merry Christmas!!
Haha, thanks Mila. Yeah the thong…not smart at all! I could have shared more, but figured people may be eating breakfast
It’s a lot of ups and downs, but 99% of it is oh so good
Comparing oneself to others in all kinds of situations is totally normal I think! And with a first-time pregnancy, I can see why you would do it even more because you’re trying to get a handle on the whole thing and learn from how others fared/are faring at the same time. I struggle with comparisons in every day life, but it’s gotten better as I’ve realized that I need to focus on being me and doing my best versus comparing to others.
Yup, as long as we’re doing the best we can, comparisons can go by the way side!
Awe girl. I agree with Kathyrn. I think comparing yourself comes with any sort of new territory. If it makes you feel any better-I have been massively breaking out lately. Not too sure why rahh.
Love this honest post! Geeze… I can’t believe how fast this has gone by! I know I won’t be the only blogger thinking about you over the holiday! Just a few more days girl!!
Thanks Mary
Aww, the comparison trap is a hard one to escape no matter who you are. Just remember that your experience is just that. Yours! And it doesn’t have to be like anyone else’s to be a good one. You rock, lady
Oh, Shanna, I love your honesty. And I really love the take away message from this post: that while comparing ourselves to others may be informative, the “information” we attain can’t always be applied to our own situations. We’re all unique and different, so what works for one person–whether it be during pregnancy, weight loss, weight gain etc.–may not work for someone else. Our bodies know best. Not some random googled person on the internet. :-p Yet, even though I know this, I’m guilty of comparing too. As food bloggers, we kind of do this every day, don’t we? However, overtime I think we become more confident in our lifestyles and choices, which lessens the need to compare and makes our experiences more enjoyable. Just think: when you get pregnant with baby #2 you’ll be able to google your own blog for answers to those questions!
And I love your honest reply Sara! I also love the comment about how I can google my own experience with baby number 2. But if baby number 1 doesn’t come out sometime soon, there will be no chance of two
Comparison a double-edged sword. Up to a point, it benefits us, but beyond that, it can be distracting, distressing, and, finally, destructive. The problem is that we just tend to compare, but rarely go beyond to integrate circumstance and context. With everybody having a different starting point and path, comparison is at best, indicative, rather than absolute. And due to this natural tendency, generally, we are more comfortable with absoutes, and so, if not careful, tend to treat variable qualitative things as thouugh they were absolute quantitative ones. This, along with plenty of other factors, are the source of much distress. (Hence the quote from the Sunscreen Song, “Don’t read beauty magazines, they will only depress you.”)
Shan, I’ve been enjoying your posts, and your frank discussion of complex topics as lived by you, and I congraulate you for this, and, thank you for your sharing this, and your positive attitude with us. I think it has been entertaining, enlightening, and helpful to anyone reading along. Thanks, good luck in the time to come, happy holidays, and kind regards, Nette
Nette — I got a HUGE smile when you quoted the sunscreen song! I love that song, it’s so poignant, no? And so appropriate when it comes to simple life lessons. Unfortunately the simple ones can be the hardest to follow. I really appreciate your thoughtful comment! Happy Holidays to you!
I haven’t had breakfast and suddenly have a massive craving for a cinnamon roll. And I haven’t mastered avoiding comparisons…it’s not good. I try to put it out of my head and give myself little pep talks. Focusing on the good while I’m at it.
That cinnamon roll was one of the best things to happen in my life. If I could send it to all my blends I would!
I haven’t commented much, but I have followed your blog for a few months now precisely because I am pregnant too. I confess to using blogs as yardsticks at time, too. Let me just say how much I appreciate your candor and honesty. I have been able to relate to so much of what you have expressed throughout your pregnancy posts, but mostly, I have been really inspired by your self-awareness and ability to own and share your darker moments…we all have them and we’re better off when we share them
K, congrats on your pregnancy! It is quite the journey no? I’m glad that my posts have been able to help. And I too appreciate when people share the gamut rather than just the ‘sunshine and roses’ part
Appreciate the honesty in this post…where I live, the Earth Mama Squad makes it seem that unless you act/refer to your pregnancy with something other than total bliss or gratitude you’re somehow a horrible person.
I had my daughter, Georgia on August 30th, after a rough, unexpectedly solo pregnancy, and I compared myself (a sense of lacking) throughout. Made things much more difficult, but the minute she was born, as cliched as it is, my need to compare disappeared. It didn’t matter that the birth didn’t go as planned or that in the coming weeks, I didn’t have the “perfect” set-up at home….all that mattered was that after many years of wanting, I was a mother. I truly, truly hope that your path continues to take wonderful twists and turns, and that you re-acquire a sense of kick-ass confidence when your baby is here. And don’t worry too much about baby weight – it looks like we have similar builds (and eating styles) and breastfeeding absolutely torched it off for me.
Good luck, and may Sawyer’s birth be everything you want and need it to be!
Aww congrats on your baby Georgia’s arrival! How sweet to spend her first Christmas this year!
And yes, it can be very taboo if you say anything bad about pregnancy, but that’s the way it is about life sometimes too. Venting is okay and necessary and clearly the end miracle trumps all, so who cares if we’re not elated at every moment. Surely I don’t jump up and down with every new grey hair which is yet another blah thing that has come my way: tons of grey hair! But hey, that’s why they have hair dye
I think you have handled pregnancy quite gracefully . I’m almost 18 weeks pregnant with my first and I know exactly where you are. There is so much info out there and women, especially bloggers, posting about pregnancy. I’m at the stage where I still look normal to most people, but I’m starting to notice the changes in my body and it’s hard. I know it’s all for a good cause, but it’s hard not to compare and wonder if weight gain is normal and where I am in the range.
Hang in there- baby will be here soon and I’m sure all these feelings will disappear!
I have like 2 secs to comment but wanted to tell you that I love you, you are so beautiful, I love this post and you are going to make a wonderful mother! Sending good labor vibes your way xoxox
I love this post! I can totally relate and I agree I was always doing the comparison check to make sure things were going “normal”. I think it also has a bit to do with the fact that this is our first little one so we have NO idea what to expect. Thanks for posting this, I totally agree, everyone is different and we should just cherish the blessings we’ve been given.
Just catching up…first- Merry Christmas..:) & second I hope Sawyer gets here SOON!!
Xo
I love reading all of your pregnancy posts. So promising to know that after 6 months you got pregnant w/o any additional changes. I have been wondering. My dr. assures me that after trying for 6 months that things are A-ok..and that I don’t need to be freaking out..like I am :/ I guess it can take some women a long time to get their bodies adjusted after B/C. Thanks for always doing these posts, I always enjoy them
Thinking of you..especially since you have the BEST due date ever
I just saw you’re in labor! Oh my! Good luck! Just commenting ’cause I can sympathize with the mom thing – I was due on October 21st this year and my mom came out from Germany on that day and I didn’t have my baby til Nov 1st! Thankfully she still got 10 days with her grandson, but ah! I wish he’d have made an earlier appearance.
In any case, go you! At least she’ll still get 6 days