I’m glad you guys appreciate hearing about my weight story. And while I can’t say that I’ve ever had an ED, I can say I have had (and sometimes still have) disordered eating. Here is Part 1 and Part 2 to my story.
Alrighty, so I think I left off leaving the land of the beautiful (aka LA) for my return back up to Northern Cali, where I feel so much more at home. I was settled back where I wanted to be, doing a job I enjoyed and getting into a groove that suited me. I was working out at 24-Hr Fitness on a regular basis and enjoying my healthy eating and cooking for two at times (since now I could see the boyfriend in the middle of the week). By then I had incorporated poultry back into my diet, which opened up my food options tremendously.
I was fairly comfortable around 122 lbs and eating however I wanted without much restriction and not really pushing myself at the gym. I’d say this is my “easy” weight. I don’t have to do much or worry too much to simply stay here, but there is also no gratification in simply staying put, if you know what I mean. And truth be told, clothes didn’t lay exactly how I preferred, and I didn’t feel super great rockin’ a bikini either. But I didn’t have any motivation to change. My boyfriend (now hubby) couldn’t tell when I was 10 lbs up or 10 lbs down. Seriously. No lie. So all my motivation was self-imposed [I suppose that's a good thing???].
In July of 2007, we were off to France, so I wanted to trim down a bit so I could walk in step with the fashionistas of Paris. For me this meant getting down to about 116 lbs, which just required a slight increase in working out (50 minutes vs 40 min; 4 x/wk vs 3 x/wk). I was fearful of being out of my routine while on vacation, particularly since I was enjoying the fromage, vin, and chocolat quite a bit. BUT wouldn’t ya know all that walking, sightseeing, and being happy actually led to weight loss while I was there? Score! Darn it if that no pressure diet is proving to work once again
In 2008 I pretty much fluctuated up and down between 116 and 122 lbs. It’s not unusual for me to gain 3 lbs on the weekend and lose it again by Friday since I kinda got @ss-crazy with my eating on the weekends, which I’m definitely trying to rein in. However, in March of 2008, I got engaged so I knew that I’d want to get slim/toned for my wedding which was to take place in April 2009.
So at the beginning of 2009, I chose to take 13 sessions over 3 months with a personal trainer (1 time per week for 1 hr) to see what he could do. I started at about 119 lbs and 18% body fat. While I definitely appreciated having a personal trainer work me harder than I ever would myself, I still don’t know that he was in tune with what I really wanted. Does that make sense? Admittedly I didn’t have a specific goal in mind, like X weight loss and Y inches lost. I just wanted to look FAB on my wedding day But we tracked my progress regardless and by the week before my wedding I was 111 lbs and had 13.5% body fat. Not bad eh? The important thing is that I *felt* good! And yeah it didn’t hurt to feel pretty on the day of my wedding:
And then the Honeymoon happened. Yeah, I have no willpower when it comes to relaxed schedules and all-inclusive food and drinks. Would you believe after 7 days in Puerto Vallarta, I gained nearly 7 lbs? I’d say that’s damn impressive! And also disappointing as heck! The months after my wedding, I relaxed my strict regimen and crept right back up to about 120 lbs. Argh. Consistency seems to be difficult for me.
In October of 2009, I headed to Egypt and was feeling much pudgier than I’d like and was concerned that I’d gain weight since fresh veggies and fruit were not advised. Oye. Well wouldn’t you know, I came back with a little something extra from Egypt and no I don’t mean pounds. I mean some little bug from something I ate. I tell ya, being sick for about 2 weeks with stomach issues will shed weight like no other. I think I went down to about 114 lbs in just two weeks.
And me, being me, liked seeing that drastic weight loss so I thought, hmm, let’s keep that up. And off I went towards the holidays with incredible discipline in tow. My lowest this time around was about 109 lbs, but was really not sustainable. And though I was able to stay around 111-112 lbs all through Italy in early 2010 despite eating a whole pizza pretty much every day, I attribute it to all the walking we were doing and just not fretting about the whole weight thing.
Upon returning from Italy, it was just too unrealistic for me to stay at such a low weight. What I’ve determined is that I have a range of weights that I settle into. My mentally happy weight is 111-114 lbs. This is when I feel like I actually look thin. But, I have to be hyper aware of everything I eat and can get obsessive and neurotic about tiny fluctuations. Then there is the easy-to-maintain weight which is 120-123 lbs. I can pretty much eat as I please and do enough workouts per week to simply maintain this weight, but I feel sluggish and less comfortable in my skin. So I ‘spose that leaves me with my “Goldilocks” weight of 115 – 118 lbs. When I am in this range, I know I am pushing my body in my workouts, thinking carefully about the food I want to consume, and also allowing myself indulgences without fretting.
Today I weight 116 lbs. I do use a scale daily. I sometimes let the number affect my mood (a wee bit). This weight does not define me, but it does play a role in how I choose to fulfill my day. I am content with this weight. I see opportunity to push myself harder in my next workout, but won’t sweat the small stuff. I can live everyday like I did yesterday with a hardcore Spin class and then an afternoon of making (and tasting) cookies.
So that is my story. This is me today. And I’m pretty darn happy
Do you have a Goldilocks weight?
What is one thing you indulged in this weekend and loved it? Mine was vino, cookies, and cheeeeeese! Nom!