I SEE you 
Whatcha think of them apples? 
(If you still want to know my eats / exercises for Wed and Thurs, they’re at the bottom of the post)
I’m going to break up my Lasik experience into two parts: the actual surgery, and post-surgery.
Here it goes…
Let me tell you how much I hate doctors, dentists, hospitals, etc. Anything that has the potential to inflict pain on me is on my Sh*t List. However, since I happen to value my health, I diligently attend all regular visits required. It may seem odd that I’d subject myself to an “optional” surgery if I didnt’ have to, but after my consultation they had me so at ease I felt like, why not?
Before leaving I had to ensure that I had zero eye makeup and zero face makeup as well. I did apply a light moisturizer and apparently that was fine.
I arrived at 1005a — about 10 minutes early (and if you know me, 10 minutes early means 5 minutes late). I was only just starting to get nervous. Luckily (?) for me, all my stress at work was taking up the anxiety-portion of my brain. My morning coffee was racing through my veins…and err my bladder
After I watched $5000+ applied to my Visa, I made a run for the girls room. Surely I didn’t want to be the first patient to wet herself mid-surgery 
I handed off all the papers about post care to my hubby to read and absorb since he was going to be playing nurse to me that afternoon.
After only sitting down for a few minutes, one of the doctors took me back to measure my eyes again and verify my prescription. They are incredibly thorough! He also applied some of the antibiotic in my eyes (that I had been using 4 times per day starting on Wed). The antibiotic drops do not hurt whatsoever! And then he gave me a Valium. Don’t mind if I do! Sadly I think I was so cracked out on coffee that the Valium barely worked. Twas okay though.
Lastly the doctor slipped shoe covers over my shoes (flats, fyi!) and off I went to the waiting room again.
Not even 5 minutes later and it was my turn. A nurse brought me in and I was greeted by this guy:
Dr Hyver
In the room is a wide fully reclined dentist-like chair. After slipping on a hair cover, I had to lay flat on my back. The nurse first used Iodine to remove any oils from my eyelids. Then she applied a few numbing eye drops in each eye. These also do not hurt in the slightest. She followed them up with some Visine to keep my eyes moist.
They were going to do my right eye first so a loose eye patch was placed over my left eye, but I was to keep my eye open the whole time and continue blinking it to keep it moist.
Then the prep for the right eye. They used something that looked like hospital grade scotch tape to tape my eyelids open. While I could tell that my eyelids were taped, it did not hurt and was not uncomfortable. Next they used something the size of an eyelash curler, but with a circular top to place over my eyeball. No pain here. I was sure I was in the clear. Meanwhile, all this time I’m staring (with my right eye) at a green blinking light. Any time Dr Hyver was obscuring my vision or applying something to my eye, he described how the light should change. It was very comforting having him walk me through each tiny change.
Then this ginormous contraption was placed over my right eye. I was told I’d feel some pressure. Instinctively I held my breath. Holy jesus, save me. This thing was uncomfortable. If you want to replicate the feeling, please feel free to stick the pad of your thumb straight on your eyeball and continuously increase pressure for 1 minute. Yowsa! I did not like this part. In fact, I started to feel extremely faint. The purpose of this contraption is to isolate the eyeball so they can use a laser to remove the front flap of your eye. Lovely. This is the only time, I “lost” vision if you will (no green blinking light). After they removed the evil contraption, I had to keep extremely still and stare at the green blinking dot while the actual laser correction did its thing. This took maybe 7 seconds. I could smell a very faint burning flesh/hair smell, but it wasn’t horrible (and I’m very sensitive to nasty smells). Next my “flap” was put back on my right eye and the eyelash curler contraption was removed followed by the scotch tape on my lids.
Right eye done.
Shanna about to faint.
This happens to me often. I faint after I have blood taken. I faint after I had my ganglion cyst drained. I faint after my yearly female visit is over. It’s actually a known condition so I’m aware of it, but it still sucks.
The 2 nurses in the room and Dr Hyver were very accommodating and understanding. They put a cold compress on my head and inserted a foam cushion under my knees to increase blood flow. I was in this wussy state for about 3 minutes before I gave them the go ahead to do the next eye.
They then removed my left eye patch (aye matey) and placed one on my right eye. Remember to keep blinking. Another dose of numbing drops and Visine and off they went on the left eye. The process was exactly the same, but this time when the evil pressure contraption came, I remembered to take deep breaths and stay calm. It definitely helped and was less “traumatic” for me.
Before I knew it, Dr Hyver was telling me the surgery was a success and I could sit up. Because I was still woozy, I took a moment before standing.
Everyone always says you can finally see crystal clear across the room right when you’re done. I could not and they said that was normal. My eyes were blurry — like when you have just put in eye drops, not blurry as in, you’re not wearing contacts. I was not at all worried or concerned.
Off I went to the post op room where the nurse applied a drop of antibiotics and a drop of anti-inflammatory meds in each eye (no pain here!). She removed my cap and booties, gave me some super fly protective sunglasses, and I was DONE 8)
Note: I entered the office just after 10a and left just after 11a. I was in the actual operation room for maybe 15-20 minutes. So fast, so easy.
Stay tuned for what the “after” felt like….
What would you like to know about my experience that I haven’t shared?
Wed Eats:
- 730a–160z mug of home brewed maple nut coffee with 1 tbsp vanilla creamer
- 9a–1 TJs apple-cinn oatmeal packet with 1 tbsp pecans and dash of pumpkin pie space
- 12p–leftover half of stuffed pepper and half of a mini-cheese quesadilla
- 1p–Good Earth Tea (I’m obsessed)
- 3p–Coke Zero and Raspberry Chobani (least favorite flavor so far, I think)
- 6p–Small orange
- 815p–3 pieces of DiGiorno frozen pizza (AFTER 8p…look at me!) and 1 glass of wine
Wed Exercises:
- Zilch — I worked 13 hours and just didn’t have it in me. I only did about 3 minutes of ab work and stretches.
Thurs Eats:
- 830a–2.5 cups of home brewed maple nut coffee with 1 tbsp creamer per cup (when I’m nervous, I tend to drink even more coffee!)
- 930a–1 TJ’s packet apple-cinn oats with a 45 cal pack of raisins, <1 tbsp maple pumpkin butter
- 130p–remaining black bean red quinoa mix from Stuffed peppers (about 1 cup)
- 6p–Hobbees! (You can revisit my last experience here) Because my Lasik surgery went well, I felt I deserved a feast: 1/3 piece of hubby’s cherry almond coffee cake, 3 sweet potato pancakes (be still my heart) and 1/3 side order of country potatoes. 1.5 cups of decaf coffee with sprinkle of cinn, splenda and cream
- 815p–1 glass of Bear Boat Pinot Noir
Thurs Exercises:
- 20 minutes on the elliptical
- 15 minutes fast paced walking on treadmill
- Ab work: rolls ups and side bends
