Hi all! I am back from Denver and gearing up for a HS friend to visit me for the weekend and I am beyond stoked! Be prepared to see foodie and friend pics next week!
And if you haven’t already, check out my last post for the Granola Giveaway.
Lately I have been taking a LOT on. Between jaunting off to friends’ weddings all over the country, coordinating weddings, working my full-time job, supporting a special assignment team (also near full-time), playing duties of wife and mother (to fur babies), blogging, and buying groceries and making meals, I am DEPLETED. I have such little reserves left. And what’s unfortunate (?) is that I actually require 8+ hours of sleep each night to function and execute all my duties. This leaves very little free time.
A couple weeks ago, someone whose opinion I value greatly, challenged my living in accordance with what I blog. From the onset (May of this year), I intended for my blog to be about creative eating without the loads of calories, showing off my culinary creations and baked goods, and talking about new workouts…oh and of course the shoes. I think I can safely say that my blog is intended to be a Healthy Living Blog, yes? If so, am I practicing what I preach?
That’s tough to respond to because I thrive on being busy. But when do you become too busy? When do you start paying attention to the aches in your neck from sitting at the computer too long, the grinding of the teeth through the night, the shortened workouts, the missed phone calls (sorry Dad!), etc. I’m getting to that point.
Oh and to add to it all, I (we) thought we’d be starting a family one of these days. And you can’t tell me that motherhood isn’t another full-time job right?
So what gives?
I’ve got the time management thing down. I know how to prioritize. I make lists. I just don’t know which aspect of my life I’m supposed to give up.
In a round about way, this goes back to work –as in my Career. I spent my entire youth striving for A’s so I could get into a good college, then graduate school, then get a rewarding career. And so I did just that. First Northwestern for my Mechanical Engineering BS degree, then Stanford for my Aerospace Engineering Masters, and now I work at a major (leading) Defense company.
I continue to strive for excellence at work as I did in my education because I like the praise I get. My company has given me endless opportunities to shine, present in front of the “Big Dogs,” travel internationally, take on assignments far above my grade level, etc, etc. Each time the work I do is appreciated I feel a sense of worth and pride. I am confident at work. I am bold at work. I am outgoing at work. I am all those things that I can’t fully feel comfortable being in my home life.
What if that all went away? What if I didn’t have my career to bolster me up and give me visible signs that I matter. That what I do has an impact. That my role is important. This scares me deeply.
Yes I am more than my career. I am more than a resume. I am more than my degrees. But my insecurities and lack of praise outside of work puts me in a position where I am hard pressed to believe in the other things like my kindness, care, love, humor…
Is there a point to this rant? Hmm, I ‘spose not. But I wonder if other women feel the same way. And yes, I say women because I think there are underlying assumptions that a woman can more readily toss aside her career versus a man. It is assumed and sometimes expected. That scares me too.
Where do you get your source of worth?
Does work praise play a role in your confidence and how you identify yourself?